fact that someone still stays, really proves that anything is possible. even for YOU.
the frustration, anger, disgust. it builds, like a tower of cards it is so easy to watch them tumble down to the ground. I believe that i have every right to get a baseball bat and shove it up your skinny ass, however its in your luck that God has stopped me otherwise. After hearing the many different responses, i prayed a little prayer, asking for direction. This verse came to me: colossians 3:12-14 ' therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with eachother and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.'
As i continued to read on i could hear the Lord saying more and more things to me. Wise words from Colossions 3:1-17. Was there really a point in letting my mouth run wild? In ways yes, however it would of been better leaving it and doing what God really wants from me. Which is to forgive and love. This is naturally difficult. Nothing is harder than forgiving and still loving someone who has done the most despicable thing to hurt you, but if the Lord is able to forgive me of my sins, its only right to do the same. Although i have come to these terms, nothing in this world, not even God will be able to change the way i now view you as a person. Everyone makes mistakes, bad choices, i respect and understand that. But like another person who has a sense of morality, would of never even contemplated the things you have done. Some day you'll find yourself and wish you hadn't. fucking cunt.
as we turn the table...
how could you do those things to me? some sort of revenge perhaps? a little trick you had up your sleeve? i do believe that the things you have done is to replace/ 'heal' the past damage. but fuck you. fuck every fucking thing you have done. fuck all the 'adorable', 'sentimental', 'considerate' things you have ever said. Youre nothing but pathetic piece of shit. with hormones bigger than a dog during heat. you'd fuck anything that moved. all youd pay attention to is the rate at which someones underwear falls to the floor. I feel like such a tool. i wasnt wrong ever thinking that i was just an object. doesnt seem like a wrong accusation now any ways. the only reason why you grew attached was the fact that i was putting out. its the only fucking reason. you are an inconsiderate fuck stain. youre a mistake, that is a complete embarrassment to anyone that saw you. disgusting, and needs to be cleaned up. a massive fuck stain. when i think about it why did i even stay with you? why didnt i just walk away when i had the chance. you know why? because i saw the best in you. no one has ever made me feel the way you have. no one had the power to humble myself down, and break me down to a little softy. no one has made my heart beat the same you have, or made me heart beat as fast. Although physically you were nothing like i wanted a guy to be, maybe even personality wise you were quite opposite too, however i stayed because you had the ability to make me the happiest, joyous and special girl. but guess what, none of that matters any more, because you were nothing but an irritating mistake. everyone knows who you are, everyone wants to get rid of you. people hide, and are embarrassed by your presence, you little fuck stain. dont get what im trying to say? why dont you cum on yourself and find out what you are. all the magical moments dont mean shit. now the only thing i think, or that comes to mind when i see your face, or hear your name. is you fucking that little horny bitch. 'oh pull my hair' fucking man whore. doing all the shit we use to do. now its fucking disgusting even thinking about it. cant believe i allowed myself to be used like that, and by some fuck stain like you. it pisses me off, knowing that now every fucking time i think about a relationship, or physical touch its just gonna be you shoving your small little cock, in her vag. thank you for the graphic images you prick. hope she doesnt have to fake it like how i did. frankly, im sick of knowing you. im sick of being round you. im fucking sick of your existence. it frustrates me, and gets me so angry, that if i didnt have the Lord in my heart, you would have a brick on your face. and youd have nothing to touch but hospital cords and needles. the amount of immense built up anger because of you is insane. It could possibly drive me to insanity. Not only tha,t nothing but shit has been happening because of your dirty dick. thanks for placing a fucking curse on me, bastard. i cant believe i allowed myself to love a disgusting, dirty, feral smudge of scum as yourself. you have no idea how pleasurable it would of been saying all of this to your face. seeing your eyes twitch as i told you that.. you didnt get away with it. That no excuse would of been able to save you. because you were in the wrong. it was all your fault, and it was you that actually fucked all of this up. the enjoyment i would of had in seeing you cringe as i told you how low you are as a human being. that your plan didnt work, and that you have lost all respect from me, and all those who ever cared about you. i smile as i picture it now, seems like its the only thing making me feel relaxed. what youre doing is fucked up disgusting. you have been, and are hurting innocent people. you are being a horrible selfish bastard, that just wants pussy. you use people, lie to people, fake to people, and scheme against people. you are the worst of the worst. there is nothing anyone could say to make you feel better about yourself. get fucked. Everyone had so much faith in you. everyone thought you changed, that you became a better person. you really havent. you have no standards at all. we were all fools for ever believing in you. i was a fool for ever loving you.
