This is so overwhelming, so beautiful, so real, so amazing; the Lord's love is everlasting.
It's true that everything happens for a reason, that God places me in situations in order to show me something, and He did. He showed be grace. I'm not scared of admitting my mistakes, because I've accepted each and everyone. There is no more running, no more hiding, no more denial, it's only me and the truth. You either take it, grow and learn from it, and move on, or you let it control you, take you and destroy you.
This whole time, all your actions were just because you were hiding in fear, hiding from the truth that you were being drowned in bitterness. That mask or temporary cover you placed yourself in after those years were just a build up of anger. You couldn't be bothered any more, couldn't handle the abandonment you felt, and the betrayal. So instead of moving on, you let it take you away to a far away place, covered in lies and lust. Where you became weak, and subconsciously let the devil, steal, kill and destroy. Something had snapped in you, and that little weak fracture, broke in half. This cold and prideful attitude grew. You forgot about others, you stopped caring, and became selfish. When others didn't bother neither did you. When it came to love, you threw that word out of meaning. Simple and ordinary actions became boring, you lost interest because there was no excitement no thrill, nothing new. Curiosity led you to one place to another, experimenting, tasting new flavours, but nothing really satisfied, nothing was enough. An evil presence lurked in side of you, yet the Lord was trying ever so hard to pull you back. Allowing many moments in time where you were reminded of His love and continued to walk in His glorious path. However the devil came and fought for you, came chasing like a bullet. Once it hit, blood poured out onto the road, mixed with dirt and filth; tainting the Lords clear path. Lost you repeated the same mistakes. Took others for granted, second guessed yourself, lied, deceived, betrayed. Your greed grew, impulses were acted out at risk, nothing was thought threw and your impatience grew. You continued to trip over the same mistakes, falling into the exact same pit you just got out of. One step forward, two steps back. At times of suffering, you forgot the most important person, God. You left him last, or never even seek him. However you complained constantly about your misfortune, when all the explanations were right there in front of you, you turned away; afraid of the truth. Time and time you played around. In one moment you stood still, and you sacrificed yourself, but not to the right one. Even so, you never learned. It was after that moment when everything lost all meaning, and self respect didn't exist. Toying with others, playing around. Feelings were lost and new ones were found. This became the most important lesson. As you walked down the bitter road of selfishness and pain, you became trapped at a dead end. At that dead end was a mirror. This was the first time you 'saw' yourself for all the mistakes and sins you have made. Soon it became to rain. Acid drops that burnt through layers of skin, revealing your true self. Scarred, and weak, your flesh tender and vulnerable. You felt like death itself. So you hid away in the shadows ashamed of who you truly were. That you became the one person whom stole, killed and destroyed you. Where ever the light went you hid, it burnt, it hurt, yet it was the truth. It wasn't until you stared into the truth and saw what God had planned for you to see. As you opened up your heart, there you discovered his true love and forgiveness. Your foot, leg, waist, shoulder then face touched the light, and it was soothing. Like silk sliding down your naked body, washing away all the burden and hurt, and there remained a spotless, clear, pure white canvas. You finally learnt to accept the truth for all it was. For all the sin that was caught up in it, you learnt to love it. To love all the suffering, all the lies, all the times you hurt others, you learnt and decided to love yourself and move on. At the dead end you saw yourself for you. You saw yourself as a child of God, as a sinner but as a follower of Christ. There you saw love, beauty, truth and worth. Slowly you raise your arm to touch your reflection, and as you timidly looked up there was the path God planned for you. You were lost and now you're found, from the love and grace of God. Never have you felt so grateful for this moment of truth. For that short moment of pain, God picked you up and washed away all the sin. Now is the time, to take your cross in faith and walk in the light of the Lord, in reassurance and peace that where ever he leads you, whatever situation or even when the devil appears He will always love you and will never forsake you. For this, I thank you.
