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its been a while my old friend, how are you doing?

one more day till christmas and the excited is turning into stress!
one day to make presents
one day to finish wrapping boxes
one day to complete making and writting cards
one day to finalise further dates
one more day ...


the reason why i hardly ever blog isnt becasue i lost motivation, its more like im lazy, or i have nothing really to blog about. lifes been pretty chill lately. no big drama that i need to spam a keyboard for. no big pain thats gonna make me 'rage quit' at life. so im pretty good.
the only pain i really experience on a daily basis can be dealt with, so im fine. i kind of dont want things to change, because once they do it'll feel colder. even though i cant say 'iloveyou' anymore, i still do. give me time.





dear best friend,

i never knew we would become so close this past year, and im so glad. you have helped me countlessly, supported me and still continue to protect me. you may look tough on the outside, but your just a soft cuddly toy on the inside. your strength of faith in God inspired me to grow in my path with God aswell. when i looked at you, i saw someone so strong, to never wonder off Gods road. But now i see your make a wrong turn. i trust you, and have faith in you, however there is this small linger of doubt in my heart. are you really going to keep your word? no matter what you end up doing, no matter how big the mistake or how far you walk down that wrong path, i will chase you and guide you back to the right path, but just please try to not to wander off. not only me, but other people aorund have these expectations of you to stay right, to be that one person who would never change. dont let them down.
then again i cant judge. people are bound to try things, but just dont be naive and think that you wont get hooked.
your more angressive, and less patient. your not as warm as you use to be. there is a different feel in the atmosphere. can you feel this change? you are becomming more arrogant and rude. where did your humbleness go? its funny how you have begun to listen to what you use to call 'crap' or 'shit music'. have you forgotten what you use to call music? your gentle nature is starting to thin out.
i know that i have also wandered away from Gods path, but i am trying to find my way back. however i cant just do this alone. the friend i use to talk to about my faith is now dissapearing. lets find our way back together? becasue i know that we were much happier when we had Christ as our stone.
i wont stop beliving that you wont stray too far, but if anything happens, im not letting go of this hope.
its not denial, its called faith.

love
your bestfriend.


ew at marlboro red after taste