150609

seems like the only tihing i do have is, food... lol ..but no, actually i dont have anything, i cant stop thinking about my life, how screwed up in the head i am.. why cant this pain leave me, its not ever going to go away, until i say it, but i cant... im so scared, so frightened of what might happen if i do.this girl, when she closes her eyes, she sees her past standing there, holding her hand, hugging her, loving her, and this girl cant forget them.. she doesnt want to. she misses that past she use to have. but its the past isnt it? isnt it too late? shouldnt she just let go, and move on? but the thing is, she cant, or she doenst want to. this girl cant stop miss her life, and its killing her, inside and out. shes not her anymore, who the fuck is she.. ? why cant god answer her! why cant god fucking save her? why cant she even try to have faith? beacsue.. shes gone, not ehre anymore, her life is dissapearing, fading away like dust... wants the point of staying strong when all that happens is you fall down.. its funny, this girl would help so many poeple, and she loved it, shje would give them all this advice, help, love.. but she cant even use that shit to help herself.. she has the answers, how to be strong, how to look on the brightside, but why cant she actaully do it!? she hates herself, every bit of it.. it was her past that made her love herself, and now that its gone, then she cant love herself anymore, she cant even look at herself.. instead her heart bleeds, cuts itself deeper and deeper.. you prob couldnt tell this cheerful little girl would be like this, but thats why you wear masks for right..? but once in a while, the mask cracks and SOME epople can see ur pain, or.. we hav enough of the bullshit we are living it, allt he bullshit we are trying to make, and give up with the smiles, and let it out a little... becasue she cant take it anymore... she cant!but she doesnt know what to do, doesnt know at all.. this girl is so scared, living in fear all the time. what ever decision she makes, someones gonna get hurt, and she cant do anyhting about it.. shes just born to FUCK everything up... just like someone said to her. no one should know her anymore, this girl is dirt, and scum, so leave her, before she cuts you deep, hurts u, and causes youregrett in ur life... before its too late..