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i read and read and read. i relook at eerything that i have said, posted and typed. wernt they all just the same thing repeated again and again? all my issues were based around the same things but grew deeper and deeper. how usless am i!
dispite everytihng that has gone on in my life, i can finally say that this year will be the best one yet and also the hardest. i dont want to linger on with the same pain. i dont want the same issues, the same tears. this time i can do, i will do it. and i know that i wont be alone. yes, alot has been answered. i have opened my heart and took risks in trust, and out came the best. and i couldnt be more thrilled.
yes there are still alot of unanswered questions, but who needs them anyway. life has to move on, and the past is the past. im not going to hold anyhitn back anymore, im not going to pretend anymore, im not going to mask myself. i am going to find out who i am and reach out my hand in to the darkness of the future and we brave and grab onto whatevercomes my way and take it. and give it my all. never have i ever thought that i could do this, but this time i belive in myself, that yes, i can do this. i can and will forget about him. that i can begin to try love myself, and accpect myself. tht i can begin to trust and open my life and heart to others. that i can help, that i am not useless. that i am cindy li, and proud to be her.


tomorrow:

all the smiles that make us warm,
all the love that heals the torn,
the soothing words from faithful souls,
are the things that fix our heart of holes,
the relient grip of a hand to hold,
the lingering thoughts that have been told, 
have blown away the pain and sorrow,
and made a new life begin tomorrow.