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i never really relised how weak i am.
no matter how much i hate myself, how much i dispise my body or the way i loook, i am too weak to do anything about it. its always that little angelic voice at the back of my head, ' love urself, you are beautiful ' .. but i cannot help but envy the girls with the 'perfect' body and 'perfect' face. ifnd my mind dreaming of those slim, sexy thighs, flat stomach and hourglass waist, that if i sacrificed a few meals or a few things i could have them. to me this is important, this is something that i wish i could have. and i want to be able to do it, no more excuses .. im not being weak this time round. its gonna be hard, but im gonna try, i dont care how painful or hard it is.. i dont care how impossible it may seem (since i lovee cooking) im giving it a go. this is how much i hate my body, hate myself.. how much i want to look pretty...
am i just being needy... annoying, a bother...?

just a voice to sooth my heart,

a hug to heal the missing parts,

a kiss to take my breath away,

an angel that i know will stay,

to show me that im not alone,

can see me through, right down to bone,

to take me in, and love me all,

to pick me up when i fall,

will love me with my flaws and cries,

and lift me up to touch the skies,

so then i might say this line,

that i am loved,

that i am fine.