damn this weather. i cant sleeep. im so sleeepy yet i cant do anything about it, and i think im getting sick from lack of sleep too...
my once upon a times stories... they were really something. i dont rember exactly what part i was writting about, but it was chapter 9. there was a reason why is stopped writting, thats becasue that was when i started to go through hell. i lvoed writting about all the sweet things, nice things, but i didnt want to write about people leaving me, or think about the pain. btu now i dont care anymore. maybe ill start writting again.
that cut that you gave me really scarred me. 'you tell EVERYONE your twisted story...' that damn one line has changed my whole idea of trust. im really scared of burdening others, annoying them with the same thing over and over. ruining their days or mooods and making them worry. yes, they care and worry becasue they want to.. but i still cant help be worried myself of becomming a nuiscience. i could say that i was bothered or feeling strange, yet when it comes to explaining why i just decide not to. when i have something bothering me in my mind i might slip out a word like ' omgsh , oh crap' or just a sigh. but in the end i wouldnt say what caused this reaction. im just really scared of being annoying. i want them to smile freely and enjoy their day. i dont want to keep on talking about the same issue again and again, im sure that they would/ are pretty much sick of hearing about it.
lets forget it and just have fun, smile and make sure that everyones happy.
you know what really made me think once. when someone asked me this
' can u promise me one thing, please be happy and forget about it, it has hurt you so no point of thinking about it. just be happy okay?'
in the end i couldnt promise them, but i said i would try. im trying but it just seems to crawl back in my heart and mind.
tears stream down my face as i
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