040310

i have always believed, always known that nothing is iimpossible in God's hands. and nohting is.

straight away i felt something pulling me towards you. someting i had to do, somehting i had to say, somehting i had to accomplish. as i look inside my heart, i see God's love flowing out of me. wanting to grasp ur shaking hand and lend u my/ the Lords strength to help you. many have said it is impossible, it cannot be done. that no one, notning can change. But i will not admitt defeat until i have tried my all. i dont know why i even bother, i just feel a sudden urge to do something right, something nice. Anyhting is possible for the Lord my God. so i place this in his hands, for he will deliver and give me strength and power to change, change a life, change my life.

the guilt, guilt filled to the rim of my heart. i deserved it. this judgement, so i shall not complain. be silent child. be silent. therer is no pain, but pure dissapointment in myself. how could i, what have i done.. this is who i am. the repidition of my life continues on. when i thought the happy train ciuld go on forever, it crashed into a wall of relisation. the truth. as it slowly plumeles down towards the ground, i know just before i hear an explosion, somehing will save me. God will save me. i wont continue frowning, filloing my heart with sorrow. but i wont live in masks and lies. i know my smile wont stay on forever, but just long enough forthis to end.

i feel dissapointment in you. we both know what is right and what is wrong. ur values, my values. we both dont want u doing this, but u contineu to fall weak and drop into satins hands, which are clasping onto ur very soul. i wont let u. im not going to let go of ur hand, i will not drop you. The Lord will not drop you. you may not acknowledge God, but as i pray each and every gniht for you. i pray that u will, and one day i have faith that you shall see true forfillment. theyare still ur decissions, but i will not allow u to fall weak. iwillpush you, andyou will hate it. feel horrible and ashamed. but it is needed to be done. be strong, dont lose faith. becasu ei believe in you.