190310

its been a rollercoaster ride, full of sharp corners, steep dips, back ward spins.. but then it all goes to a halt and everythings calm..
in those few days i couldnt take anymore, i couldnt relive that same pain, i was so afriad i make others go crazy for me. but then with all the care showering over me, i relised who were the poeplewho loved me the most. or whom really cared. and that relisation hit me, a wave of love. this is what god had blessed me with. he blessed me with these people in my life to helpme. many had prayed, many worried and they had saved me from my strangling depression. there are still alittle rocky bits on this ride but its slowly comming to a calm rail... until the next stomach dropping experience cmoes, i know that God will provide and help me out, along with the ones who i know will save me again.


during this time, all has been good. a lttle confusion here and there, a little dissapointment splattered arond, but all is good. its hilarious how happy my friends make me feel. bring me all the joy in the world. they accecpt my kookiness with all respect and care, and that is why i love them. at night i dont hug my pillow as much anymore, maybe im feeling less inssecure. prehaps.. maybe...
may God refill my empty soul with his love, grace, wisdom and power .
and in advance... please forgive me.